What's In a dream?

What’s in a dream?

Is it wrong to look to dreams as a form of guidance?? Is it wrong to depend on dreams in what we should look for in life? Some people are deep dreamers some may not have dreams at all or don’t even sit and think about their meanings…as for me I would consider myself a deep dreamer and sometimes I depend on those dreams a lot as a message from Allah that be patient there is more to see..

Sometimes I dream of things that I’ve never seen before but actually exist:

Dream 1: Before becoming a Muslim the day before 9/11 I had a dream of being in front of a black cube and a man had come to me and said, I would like to invite you to Islam at this moment I didn’t think anything until the next day the terrorist attack of 9/11 happened and I hated islam but I kept having dream after dream of Islam to the point I ended up researching Islam and then reverting September 12,2002 after my reversion to Islam the man who gave me shahada told me not please take shower and go to sleep and you should wake up refreshed and learn the prayers as you soon as you can. I did as instructed but that night I had the same dream I did in the beginning of being in front of the black cube but come to find out that black cube was the Kabba in Makkah and at this time in the dream I was surrounded by many Muslims and the same man approached me with a smile and said “Masha’allah sister you’re on the right path” after waking up I felt like something had lifted from me and I felt so light...

Dream 2: I had dreamed of flying into the airport the time of day was ether early morning or perhaps in the afternoon in this dream I was flying with a man and a lady I did not see ether of their faces but I remember the voices and the man knew my name for the longest time I didn’t know which airport I was seeing the runway had palm trees nearby and was an empty desert near I remember asking my husband a while back about which airport he had flew out of he mentioned he had flown out of the Dammam Airport, I had googled the airport and subhan’allah the exact description was the Dammam Airport but my confusion when I flew to Saudi Arabia the first time I landed in Jeddah so this dream to me tells me that the person who was flying with me was not my husband now but I fully believe who is my husband in the future and who is the mystery woman ? I don’t know!!!

Dream 3: as I became pretty close to Saudis and wanting to come to Saudi Arabia the dreams of Saudi Arabia increased many of these dreams I felt happy so when people would say to me “You’re a woman what makes you think you’ll be happy there” I’d always tell them every time I have dreams of being there I’m always happy I feel that Allah is telling me when I’m there I’ll be fine and I’ll be at peace… In the same time  I had dreamt of a long bridge surrounding big bodies of water I remember asking a friend who lived in Riyadh at the time I asked him is there a long bridge in Saudi Arabia that is surrounded by water I described the bridge in detail from my dream he told me to stop and told me “that’s the bridge from Bahrain to Saudi Arabia “

Dream 4: This type of dream I’m going to describe some would say keep to yourself but I felt it had deep meaning and had to find out before I had married my current husband now I had dreamt of 3 yellow baby cobras, In the dream I remember calling for someone to come help me with them because I didn’t know what to do with them in the end of the dream a man came “ I don’t know who it is and not It’s not my husband” he took the snakes and they had been killed the man said to me now insha’allah everything will be fine. I had a few different interpretations some said 3 enemies or 3 problems 2 of the problems have already occurred the 3^rd problem has not or I’m already in the 3^rd problem and the solution hasn’t come yet.

Dream 5: A while back while still in America I have often struggled with my prayers but from time to time I was normally on time with my prayers but at one moment in my life I had struggled and stopped praying I had dreamt of a Masjid at the time I had thought it was in Egypt.  I had described the dream as the athan was going off and I’m walking by and there are tables where you can eat at nearby I never thought anything of the dream except a message from Allah to remind me to keep up with my prayers a few months ago my husband took me to this shopping area that has many stores and it was the prayer time and we had went outside in this area I told my husband this masjid looks so familiar it looks like the one in my dream accept the one in my dream was surrounded by dining tables to sit at as we turned the corner to our destination there where the dining tables in front of the masjid I honestly froze I didn’t know what to think at this moment but other than Subhan’allah in how strong dreams can be and is it wrong to believe in them or rely on them, because so far everything I have dreamt of being here in Saudi Arabia I have seen them all but 2 of the dreams in the reality…

The masjid from my dream

So is it wrong to depend on dreams? I don’t know but I trust these dreams as a form of guidance I think we dream of things for a reason sometimes a warning, sometimes a message some dreams are meant to be shared some are meant to keep secret in the end dreams are special and sometimes a very important message from Allah…

Read More

Why would an American woman would want to live in Saudi Arabia?

Many ask what would cause an American woman to move to such a conservative country like Saudi Arabia. Many say women don’t have rights and are treated like second class… I used to think so too before I became Muslim and before I met my previous Saudi friends watching them and observing them made me curious and made me want to know more and influenced me so much to move here and to live among the Saudi community!

So the root of the reason why?? My story is personal and most say you should keep such things private and to yourself, but why? Because it’s considered a taboo or I should be ashamed of what happened to me?  For those who know me personally know my past for those who don’t you will after you read my story think as you wish after words but don’t judge me after you know my reason.

Years ago I was adopted by a man who is my step father someone to protect me and love me, instead he betrayed me and hurt me and damaged me permanently, From the age of 2 reports of it happening before the age of 2 until 9 years old I was sexually molested tortured to keep silent and threatened to have my mother killed and starved so I kept silent.

 luckily I got out of that situation another person who had come into my life who was also supposed to protect me I told him what happened I spent a long time in a hospital to get help I was really sick for a long time I tried to commit suicide at the age 9, after my long stay in the hospital I got better.. as time went the person I had trusted betrayed me to by molesting me also not as badly as the other person but I trusted him and he did the same and that person would continuously beat up my mother I then learned at a young age of the destruction of Alcohol.  I eventually told my school teacher what happened only because my teacher found suicidal notes in my bag and contacted the school counselor, after this point I spent almost a year in a mental hospital for treatment for the things that happened and to help convince me to want to live in this toxic world.  

 I was released but I felt unsafe without being in the hospital in the hospital I felt safe I had people to talk to me people to listen to me and people who made me believe that I had a reason to live I still didn’t understand why I had to live and what was my purpose so I ended up overdosing on prescription pills I was giving to help depression, and sleep, and anxiety and a few other pills (anti depressants’ increase the thoughts of suicide) so without any reason I took all the pills I had so I could return back to the hospitals I felt so safe in I had ran away from the private school I had attended for special need kids like me who had mental health issues and ran away to my home where the police eventually found me and took me to the hospital to clean my stomach from the pills, and then later on turned over to another hospital to stay in I stayed for a good 5-6 months I felt sad alone but I felt safe, as time progressed I started to get better and they wanted to released me I remember this moment so well I didn’t want to leave I cried so much that one of the staff members in the hospital held me and let me cry in her arms I didn’t want to leave and she assured me if I felt something bad or scared to call and ask for her and I could talk to her and I felt relieved after that to know I had someone to talk to.

After my release from the hospital I had become acquainted with a policeman I liked him so much he was kind and encouraging to the point he influenced me to want to help others and to also become a police officer, as time grew I grew feelings for him I was 15 and felt safe and a relationship grew between us I didn’t think it was wrong because I thought it was okay I let it happened at same time I knew it was wrong until investigators came to my house questioning our relationship I denied them because I felt I was protecting him and he liked me, only to find out he was after other ladies my age too I felt betrayed and crushed why would he do that to me? I then became friends with friends where I experienced with different drugs alcohol I drank heavily at that age I started drinking earlier on but it got worse at this time to the point I had gotten into a fight with my mother and then was later arrested at this time it was a turning point to straighten up.

I then became Christian and then became curious with different religions and cultures I was easily influenced at the same time I was very curious and never let anything stop me from learning what I wanted…

I admit I had a very bad image of Islam and Saudi Arabia until I met the ones I met in 2004 as I stated before they influenced me to the point I wanted to move to Saudi Arabia, why you ask??? After the things I had went through I ended up being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, boarder line personality disorder, clinical depression and society isn’t always kind to people with mental health issues ether they drug you up with pills or they make you feel like there is something wrong with you or make you feel stupid by putting you in lower levels of class in school and after I became Muslim a lot of my family cut me off some of them not even accepting my children because I’m Muslim.

when I met my Saudi friends they accepted me they didn’t treat me like I was stupid when some of them knew what happened in my past they became protective of me they became the family and the security I had been needing when I asked them what is the punishment for people who rape or molest in Saudi Arabia because in America we think the victim is the one who gets punished they told me those people who commit a crime are executed!  I remember opening up to the one friend thinking what is wrong with me for these things to happen he told me nothing is wrong with you Allah allowed these things to happen to strengthen you and look where you become now, you’re Muslim.

 One of many reasons why I wanted to move to Saudi Arabia is for #1. To start a new fresh life leaving my nightmare past to get away from it. #2. For once in my life my Saudi friends gave me a reason to want to live Allah sent these people in my life for a reason #3 I felt safe around Saudi people…

 Don’t get me wrong I know there are assholes everywhere I have met my fair share here but I have never felt more safe and accepted and loved and appreciated then I have here in Saudi Arabia and by the Saudi people!  They have loved and encouraged me accepted me and helped me in any way that they can or able to that I feel like meeting my Saudi friends saved my life Allah saved my life by bringing me to Saudi Arabia because I know no one here would let anything happen to me from my friends to the government this is one of the main reasons why I love Saudi Arabia with all my heart, Is it the place for everyone? No! but it’s the ideal place for any true Muslim!

Read More