Monday, September 2, 2019

Whats in a Dream part 2


What’s in a dream part 2:

In Islam they say that there are three types of dreams Rahmani: (those that come from Allah), Nafsaani (psychological, they come from within a person) and Shaytani (Those that come from Shaytan), said: “Dreams are of three types: a dream from Allaah, a dream which causes distress and which comes from the Shaytaan, and a dream which comes from what a person thinks about when he is awake, and he sees it when he is asleep.

All dreams are either of two types:
1.        
1.       True dreams. These are the dreams of the Prophets and of the righteous people who follow them. They may also happen to other people, but this is very rare, such as the dream of the kaafir king which was interpreted for him by Yoosuf (peace be upon him). True dreams are those which come true in real life as they were seen in the dream.
2.       Mixed up false dreams, which warn of something. These are of different types:
1.        
1.       Games of the Shaytaan to make a person distressed, such as when he sees his head cut off and he is following it, or he sees himself falling into a crisis and cannot find anyone to save him from it, and so on.
2.       When he sees some of the angels telling him to do something forbidden, or other things that cannot possibly make sense.
3.       When he sees something that happens to him in real life, or he wishes it would happen, and he sees it very realistically in his dream; or he see what usually happens to him when he is awake or what reflects his mood. These dreams usually speak of the future or the present, rarely of the past.


I am the type of person who looks to dreams as a form of guidance in how to look and approach the things in my life or what to possibly expect in the coming and Allah is communicating with me in these dreams most of my dreams I do not even look into the meaning of them unless I cannot forget them.

Here I tell you my most recent dream that not only made me aware that something is coming and that insha'alla (GOD WILLING) that I will get through it. In this particular dream there were several sceneries. 

Lens scene
I was in a building with friends and family they had a zooming in lens or I guess you could say it was a telescope or binoculars out of curiosity I decided to take a look and came across a beautiful pond of water.

Pond scene
After visiting with friends I had decided to take a stroll  in a area that I really didn't know where I was at basically kind of wondering in this part of the dream I felt Allah was warning me of my current situation in where I am in my faith in Islam where I tend to struggle with my praying there are times I pray on time and than times where I don't pray at all so this part of the dream I felt Allah is warning me at the same time I'm committed to my faith.

Walking scene

Wondering Scene

Lastly part of my dream was being in a small boat at sea looking over the beautiful sea along comes a huge vessel ship no the explanation in this dream gave me two different insights that what ever is expected to come my way that I could face a tragedy or I will be safe from what ever is yet to come.
Vessel explanation 1

Vessel explanation 2

Many people tell you that you should keep most of your dreams to yourself ether if they're good or if they're bad if they're bad and gave you bad feeling than this dream is from shaytan and you should tell no one and as you wake up spit to the left 3 times to avoid it coming to a reality and harming you.

Dreams to me are a guideline I depend on dreams maybe I shouldn't be completely reliant on dreams but I feel that they help me in how I should approach each coming situation... 

As my situation now I have my job that I'm approaching my evaluation for completion of 1 year within the company that I am in now all though everything in the company has been going well I feel confident that I've done well and I can become even better if they allowed me to continue with them but sometimes there is always a sense of worry that something could go wrong and they let me go I quite enjoy my work I have struggled in the beginning due to illnesses those illnesses have their episodes where I'm fine and than there's times that my body completely shuts down and I can't move or feel anything so this maybe a concern in the company..

Second situation: the possibility of marriage! why is this a concern when marriage is supposed to be a happy time a step of commitment of sharing your life with another person and also completing half of your deen (faith).. Normally yes it is a happy time when you realize the person that you have chosen has helped you to be a better version of yourself and has saved you from many other things that could destroy your relation completely with Allah.

For me my situation is a bit more complicated I live in one of the most conservative countries Saudi Arabia even though things in the country are changing for the better there are still things that can make things difficult marriage being one of them... I have what they call Iqama (residency Card) each card is ether under the sponsor of a company if you're brought to the country to work or you're under the sponsor of your husband (if you married a Saudi)  my Iqama is under (Mother of citizens) my sponsor is listed under my name; so what does this mean? this means that I am the mother of Saudis and also since the sponsor is listed under myself than I am to be treated the same as Saudis so that I can obtain jobs that under the saudinization I can fill those gaps if needed.

So what is the connection between my iqama and my status and getting married? that's the curve ball that I'm trying to find a way around, The man I have chosen to be my potential husband isn't a Saudi in fact as most of you who've been following my blogs he's Yemeni; and there's nothing wrong with that right? No! except for the fact both countries are currently at war so the problem I am facing right now is that If I was to marry this man that I would lose all of my Saudi benefits making it much harder of me in the country to 1 obtain a job 2 some say my iqama would change from mother of citizens to wife of Yemeni so if there was ever a problem that my husband was to leave the country I would have to also follow regardless if I have Saudi children here yet I don't know if that alone would save me to stay here if that were to happen Insha'allah it wont.

As of now I have went through a lawyer to consult in what I could do to know my rights and unfortunately the outcome was not as expected well I guess it was expected. This result it only brought more confusion and frustration of those who've visited the Court for marriage, The passport office, as well as the labor office each one mentioned that it wouldn't affect my status at all unless I had children then my Iqama would change but until now nothing is clear...

When I had those dreams I felt that it was preparing me for what is yet to come in each explanation or Interpretation of each dream aside of the wondering dream each interpretation mentions safety, calamities of the situation and the person will be safe and that insha'allah *the outcome* in the end I feel Allah is telling me that everything will be fine I have trusted Allah before with the dreams I had before and he didn't let me down so i'm holding on to faith and insha'allah this will see me through to the best path..


Dream Interpretations: https://www.myislamicdream.com/       

Thursday, August 22, 2019

The Ugly Reality



The Ugly Reality:


All through my life I’ve seen the ugly reality of dividing of the people, In America within Mexicans and across the Arab world.

Even within my family there has always been a divide ether you agree with the same political or religious views or you are an outcast for having your differences; I have always been the diverse one in my family ether by questioning my faith in why I have to pray to “Jesus” who Christians believe to have died for their sins or to believe he is the son of God I have asked before why should I ask someone to forgive my sins when he didn’t create me and why should he pay for a sin that I had committed In response I was told “to not to question but just accept it for what it is” also in the bible it is mentioned that prophet Abraham (Ibrahim) had committed adultery with Hajar and Prophet King David killed a man to be-wed the wife of Uriah the question was asked why would God (Allah) send these people to speak the word of God (Allah) and then would commit the biggest sins that Allah had forbidden these things questions were never answered in a clear response other than I was what God had said and I was to accept it for myself I could not accept something that was not clear and something that logically didn’t make any sense!!!

In my family from my mother’s side are conservative republicans me on the other hand the free thinker I don’t consider myself a republican or Democrat nor a Libertarian, If I agree with a republican view I’m considered a conservative, If I agree with a Democratic view I’m considered pro-choice or against the 2nd amendment (the Right to bear arms *meaning: Against firearms) this is not the case! I feel there is a time and place for each view for instance if my 10 year old daughter was to be raped and became pregnant the republicans would think that it would be against God’s law to terminate the pregnancy because the unborn child has rights as a pro-choice view I don’t like the thought of ending a life but to allow a 10 year old child to be forced to carry a child after going through a brutal mater of rape is unsettling and I could never put my child through that and would demand an abortion! In my families views this is unheard of or there is something wrong with me for having a different opinion that should be a logical response in certain case! As for the 2nd amendment the right to bear arms yes I am supporting for responsible gun owners to have guns but I’m also against the idea of people being allowed to have firearms that are meant for a war zone I understand the idea of having a weapon to be able to protect and to defend themselves but why does one need a weapon that shoots multiple rounds per second? I do not feel the 2nd amendment should be removed but I do believe some changes to make people’s lives safer is a definite must but in my families mind it Is taking one of their rights away many of my family would fight me on this view without understanding or thinking about the effects that the current situation of gun control problem that America is facing.

When it comes to race I will be the first to admit yes I do face a discrimination or racial issue this is a self-matter and of my upbringing. My father is a Mexican my mother an American right now in my country in America there is a divide with whites against, Latinos, African Americans, and Asians, and Arabs gays lesbians etc.; Some Whites think that the Mexicans that are coming to America are illegal and the ones that come to America are ether criminals, drug dealers, rapists Then there’s the black community where many think that they’re criminals, going to rob you or in gangs, where the Arabs are considered the terrorist community looking to take over America or to commit Jihad on those who don’t accept Islam, You have the Gay and Lesbian community where some believe that equal rights for a man to marry a man a woman to marry a woman and to be able to use the same bathroom if their a transgender…

When I started to learn about Islam I was immediately profiled by my school as a potential terrorist to the point during the 1st anniversary of September 11th I was put in a In-school suspension because they thought me talking to Muslims that I was a potential threat I had many of my classmates who would fight with me calling me a traitor to the country because of my sudden interest in Islam and my communicating with Muslims from all different countries, My first influences to Islam were actually Iranians! I had spent a lot of time with Iranians trying to learn about their culture. When I was learning about Islam I had met Muslims of different countries that invited me into their homes just so I could learn about Islam the first family that I had welcomed me into their home were Palestinian, I would spend weekends with them sometimes during the holidays I had Lebanese, Egyptian, Iranians, who were all very welcoming to me into their homes each family I had stayed with I adapted into my life living with them I had realized the path I wanted I wanted the path of Islam.

When I had finally took my shahada (oath to become Muslim also the 1st pillar of Islam) these families were the first impression of Islam that I had ever had and was the impression that made me want to become Muslim, After my reversion to Islam I soon realized in who my true friends were also my family.
Even though my mother and sisters and a few of my aunts and cousins talk to me from my mother’s side the rest of my mother’s side of the family have considered me as a stranger of the family the friends I used to have considered me as a traitor and no longer talked to me.

Later on I would meet my first Saudi friends this was back in 2002 that I had started talking to Saudi’s at this time I still didn’t really like them because of the things that I heard about them on the Media claiming that they’re were responsible for 9/11 and for a lot of the Muslim crimes I remember meeting them the first time with a female friend of mine we had went to their apartment because they were having a gathering the Saudi males came out in thobe and gootra (Saudi traditional dress) and I was terrified I thought oh my God they’re going to kill me (I know its funny now but in reality sad) the time I had spent with them they were welcoming answering all the questions that I’ve ever wanted to ask to clear misconceptions about Islam to how Saudis have been betrayed in the media to how the life in Saudi really was; it was at that point I had realized in how manipulative the media really was also realizing that I wanted a life in Saudi Arabia with Saudi people I fell in love with their culture with their hospitality (keep in mind majority of Arabs are pretty hospitable) but I wanted a life with Saudis in Saudi Arabia my deep love and respect grew from there and my learning about Saudi Arabia to Saudis began.

When I had returned back home to live back home I had met an Iraqi family who until now I will always consider close to my heart because while my family have shut me out because of my new out-coming of being Muslim they filled the empty family feeling gap with them I entered my first masjid I would later on meet other Muslim ladies from Lebanon, Syria, Kuwait, Turkey and another Iraqi lady who until now is my best friend who I hold dearly to my heart.

That year I started to attend a university in the University of Toledo in Ohio to begin my studies as a criminal justice major during my time in the university I had the opportunity to attend Islamic conference’s where you could attend Islamic lectures meet other Muslims share your views it was the best time of my life to be honest I enjoyed it greatly and helped me to gain the knowledge until this day I have about Islam I would also learn about the conflict with Israel and Palestine and the other conflicts between other Arabic nations I would hear stories from Egyptians against Saudis, Sudani against Egyptian, Saudis against Egyptians and the list of dislike of stories of each other never ended but the biggest hate was towards Saudi and the gulf countries (Saudi Arabia, U.A.E., Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Oman) in how much money they have but never help other Muslims in need.

When I started to become interested in marriage I specifically wanted to marry from a Saudi when many of my friends knew my love for Saudi Arabia and Saudi people many had told me that Saudis were bad they weren’t good, I would hear this from my Turkish, Syrian, Kuwaiti, Egyptian, friends they would always talk about Saudi Arabia in a bad way in how bad their rules were and how bad they treat women to how bad their leaders were and mostly their men were bad!!! The one Kuwaiti woman had told me marry from Egypt, Palestine, Yemen, Iraqi or Kuwaiti any nationality but Saudi the only friend who understood my views and accepted me was my best friend my Iraqi friend ether it was became we had the same views or we wanted the same things but she was the only one who stood by my side when I had married my Saudi husband those girls who claimed to be my friends stopped talking to me and never talked to me again.

While being married to my husband I never expected to be the Saudi life as it was I knew in the beginning that it maybe conflicting but never thought about how divided Saudi Arabia was, when I came to Saudi Arabia I didn’t know much about the family names or the regions (South, East, North, and West etc.) When people would ask in what region my husband was from when they heard his last name the response was always the same (OH my God how did you end up with a Jazani *from South region*) or they’d say “May Allah be with you” where some would say that many are good.  Something my ex-husband had told me that every tribe from each region will think and believe that their family and region is the best apart from everyone else and will always help each other while shutting out other tribes from other regions and this is a big thing that many of us non Saudi wives married to Saudis have seen and faced. I have alhumdullilah (thanks to God) have met my fair share of good Saudi people from each region of the country maybe it’s because I’m American is the reason I see things the way I do…

I have been divorced for three years now apart from my ex-husband and or differences I have accepted my fate but now I want to get married again in the beginning I had only wanted to marry a Saudi why? Because this was the life I was used to since 2002 until now of 2019 that’s 17 years that I had dedicated my life to learn about the life, mentality, the Saudi way of life that I could never pull myself away from it and never will I do so I love Saudi Arabia and that will be something that will never will be changed no matter how hard anyone tries.

For the past couple years I’ve gained a new interest as many who’ve been following me for quite some time know I’ve been solely interested in Saudis but now the new interest has involved Yemen, Why many ask? As I’ve told people firstly Yemenis are the first Arab, secondly they play a huge history role in Saudi Arabia would I be this interested in Yemenis if they didn’t have a history in Saudi Arabia? (sadly no) with this new interest I have faced a lot of backlash from Saudis, where right now it is understandable for the fact there is conflict with the two countries but at the same time it is downright sad for both sides in how each side see’s each other.  You have Saudis who’re against Yemenis being in the country and think they should go back to their own country to fight against the Houthi and to build their country and you have the Saudis who’re kind pure white hearted and would like to see the Yemenis who have been here for years upon years to be able to live in harmony with each other I do understand that both have lived with each other and may have a better understanding in how things are the way there are but I’m speaking from a different perspective..


In my current life news I have become interested in marrying a Yemeni man for some of my friends many would prefer for me to marry a Saudi for the fact that was what I always wanted and never wanted anything but Saudis but even some of the Saudis I know will tell me to not to marry from the South region, than you have the south region telling me to not to marry from Riyadh and others telling me to marry Saudis from the hijaz area (Jeddah, Makkah, Medina area) then there’s the ones God forbid that I dare to marry a Yemeni (because of the conflict of what’s going on) but some are supportive to the idea as long as I’m happy and the person is good is what matters.

These days the bachelor that I want to marry has been spending at least 4 months of our knowing each other in ways for us to get married each time he had asked I told him look I can’t marry you because my status in the country would be at jeopardy he has spent tirelessly looking for a way for us to be together without it affecting my status in the country he has told me if there is no way for us to be together without it affecting me than we will not get married, Many people have consulted us to get married in Bahrain than theirs ones that have raised the concern that maybe it would be considered illegal in Saudi Arabia and would face some issues within the country as well as with the company I’m working with. People have questioned my awareness of the reality of my choices of marrying a Yemeni some have degraded the idea considering the fact marrying a Yemeni is a downgrade or low class questioned if this person is marrying me for his own benefit (American citizenship). I Have sat down with this person who wants to marry me I’ve discussed that I would not help him get citizenship if that was what he wanted and I had made it crystal clear that I refuse to live nowhere else but Saudi Arabia  he has the same views he wants to live in Saudi Arabia and doesn’t have any interest in living in America but why is this so hard for others to believe that a Yemeni doesn’t have any interest in living in America or gaining the nationality let alone sincerely wanting to live in Saudi or to marry me with pure intentions!!!

I have went to court office in Saudi Arabia looking for answers to confirm that my status in Saudi Arabia wouldn’t be affected if I married a Yemeni the court judge said my status wouldn’t be affected, the man who had translated requested for my number so that he could help us get more clear answers I agreed and gave him my number out of acceptance from my insha’allah (god willing) future husband.  
He had later on called me to discuss the matters to ask some questions about if his family accepting the marriage, where I work, where he works and then he asked about why I had asked about the change of rules of marrying a Saudi if any new rule changes have occurred he assumed that I was interested in marrying a Saudi instead but I explained to him no, I’m on social media and I discuss a lot of issues about Saudi Arabia trying to change the negative views and a lot of people on my social media plat form look to me to any new law changes and explained this was my only interest in wanting to know; He continued after my explanation why I wanted to marry a Yemeni he said you’re American Saudi Arabia and America have a good relationship where Yemen does not why don’t you look to marry from a Saudi?

Actually I was not surprised from the response. When he continued to degrade the person I was interested in trying to persuade my choice in marrying a Yemeni because he thinks that my choice would look bad on me or would affect my future in Saudi Arabia  to be honest I really don’t know if it would affect my future maybe it would maybe it wouldn’t.

 So far I have been given mixed responses some say my status won’t change, some say my status will change some saying that my work might be affected and when this person who called me in telling me and my potential spouse that he’d help me and then trying to derail me to something else this really shook me to the core on who I can really trust for sincere help or to know who’s truly happy for me and to help me in doing things in the right way so that me and my future husband can live comfortably and without worry!!! True sincere friends or for those who want to help will never try to change your mind they may give you a few insights in how some people are but they would never try to hurt you in trying to change your mind I had told this person this man who loves me has spent months finding ways going to court after court, passport office to other offices to assure nothing will happen to my status to me that is a sincere man a real man who wants the best for me and for him a man who isn’t sincere in marriage wouldn’t even look for a way they’d look for easy excuses and then mostly leave this man has been by my side through my good sides my bad sides when I was in the hospital he refused to leave my side and took care of me for the first time in a long time I felt loved and valued and felt like I actually mattered.

My conclusion of this big divide that I have faced literally my entire life and I’m sure that everyone has faced similar situations some point in their life but where does this divide come from? It comes from the media, it comes from our upbringing in how our families raise us to the point if we think differently in society today you have to pick left or right if you go in the middle you’re on your own we have reached a point in this life where some are afraid to think in a different way out of worry to offend other people or to create tension within their family or communities. Thankfully they are some who are willing to learn about other people and listen to their differences to listen to the other persons concerns to try to see a way to make a better life for everyone to live in peace but there is also the ugly reality of those who just don’t want to change their views because they’ve been raised to think in a certain way all of their life.

One of the most important things I have ever learned in my life is to push the boundaries when someone says no ask why? Ask why until you understand and to take risks when there’s a warning find out why that warning is there (don’t do something that will cost you your life) but learn the reason behind every No, Yes, Why, don’t do that, warning I’ve always been the one if someone says this person is the enemy I want to know why he is the enemy I will talk to that enemy to see their opinion to have a clear vision from both sides and then be able to decide which I feel is right.

The only way you can know about something is asking if it doesn’t make sense than it’s not the truth because the truth makes sense and doing the right thing should make you feel good or better if it doesn’t make you feel better than it’s not the right thing  I have learned more in my life by taking the path that many people told me that I couldn’t do it has thrown obstacles but it made me grow it made me learn about the life I chose it gave me a clear insight of the things around me that’s going on in the end I’ve been given the ability to choose what is right for me.

What’s right for me may not be what’s right for someone else but as they say choose the path that scares you the most because it is the path that will help you grow even if it means thinking  against how society expects you to think it is better to think against the minority than being the same as everyone else but as long as we keep dividing each other and not listening to each other the divide will always be there in order for a positive change we have to listen to each other and want the best for each other even if it means letting someone live in our country for a better life most importantly supporting one another for the good things that this life has to offer in the end we’re accountable for what we do and God (Allah) will hold each and every one of us responsible for who we’ve harmed with our words, our actions, and behavior and how that person was affected but Allah will also reward those who’re kind, caring, and helping to those who are in sincere without expecting benefit from the other person that they’re helping the only benefit one should be looking forward to is from Allah “ Do to others as you would have them do to you”(Luke 6:31) “ No one of you becomes a true believer until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself”( Hadith: Al- Bukhairi and Muslim).