It’s been a week since you’ve left for Yemen.
It’s been a trailing week the first couple days were hard I was over emotional crying off and on overwhelmed with the thought of everything reflecting of our relationship comparing it to this new found freedom.
I ended up buying a vape after 3 years I vaped for a almost a week and hated how it made me feel all though I kind of miss it but I ended up throwing it away but I feel the urge to get a new one I crave that convenient instant relief.
I’m upset at you though our home is constantly struggling I’m always struggling financially maybe this is the punishment for my past sins a hardship of a life. I can’t help but think back of the life I wanted and had and comparing it to now nothing but sorrow, surviving and hope!
Part of me wants to keep holding on because I don’t want another failed marriage but another part of me wants out of this entrapment of a relationship and take my girls with me they deserve the best in life and this isn’t it.
I don’t mind being a help in my home, but for once I want to feel cared for, needed,loved even though I love to work I’ve been working for survival for ages I’m also not getting younger my body is tired yet you don’t want to listen to me I don’t know why I thought a life with you would be better.
If I had a preview in how things would be I wouldn’t have gotten married. Why am I staying? I don’t want another failed marriage, I want my kids to have a home with their parents but I hate that you don’t been know your responsibilities as a husband to your family you do for your family in Yemen but me you treat me completely different like you’re entitled to control everything I do or how I do things.
While you’re in Yemen I’m barely surviving financially but once I get my salary inshallah I’ll be able to handle things better.
The best part of everything so far is I don’t have to hear your constantly asking for my phone or questioning why I do something I’m finally free to be myself unapologetically.
In the end I’m alone, it’s me my girls no friends around no family just a lonely quiet life.
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